Classic Laziness

Last night the debutante came down to Orem to go skating at Classic with me and some other dudes. She proceeded to skate around the rink once, and then parked in a booth for the rest of the session, asking frequently when we would eat. She held out, but it took a lot of effort to keep her happy while we skated.

Guess Who...

Received 3 snuggies for Christmas!!??!! I'll give you a hint, who is commonly known as being way WAY lazy? yeah. The lazy-d. That's who. We were thinking of how she can use 3 snuggies. I don't think it'll be too hard. We were thinking of maybe one in the bathroom. She definitely wants one to wear to work. And we were thinking as a special surprise to sew on her jersey shore name to one of her snuggies. "The Incident."

I Overheard This Conversation The Other Night...

The Lazy-D was doing what she does best. Flat on couch. Blanket on top. Laptop on blanket. Some food or beverage item nearby. TV on in background. Something about it gave me the impression that this position had been held for quite some time.

Well, she was on the phone with her dad and they were talking about their Seattle trip they're planning. He wanted to give her some flight confirmation number or something. I'm not sure. All I heard from my end was this:
"Can you just text it to me? I can't really write it down now..."

Of course. Of course. Why would she be expected to go to such an effort.

Today I Found Out

Today I found out that the Lazy Deb wore a used dress to the debutante ball!!! What's with that? But her description of it did sound quite lovely. My hope in life is that I will be able to see her wear it one day. She still has it and she can surely still fit it.


*If you wonder what happens at a debutante ball, there's a great OC episode to watch. However, as far as I know the Lazy-D's dad didn't get punched by the people he swindled like Marisa's dad.

Hiking

The other day, Elin and I wanted to go hiking. We were going to go here:



Then we found out the laz-Deb was coming, so we went here:



Also, we discovered that she lacks the arm strength to put a bottle of salsa in the fridge, but is capable of opening it and leaving it on the counter to spoil.

Somehow, I still love her.

Un-hoon-ployment

Guess who has re-entered the workforce? That's right. The Lazy Deb has gotten herself a job again. It was strange and almost eerie to come out of my room this morning to find her NOT on our couch. To find her laptop with NOT her little fingers attached to it. It's hard to imagine what she might do for work. I keep thinking that her interview must have gone something like:

"Now, you do understand that you will be expected to lounge on this couch for 8+ hours a day. Are you willing to do that?"
"Yes, I'm very dedicated to that type of work."
"Also, we really are looking for someone who has a passion for wasting time on the internet and who has a high level of facebook mastery. Is that person you?"
"Absolutely."
"Now, there may or may not be some mindless reality tv show playing in the background, will that impede your ability to do your important work on the couch with your laptop?"
"No, not at all."
"Wow! You're exactly the job candidate we've been looking for! Welcome aboard to our lazy company."

Isn't that the interview you would expect? I'm not sure if that's actually what happened or not. I'm not even totally sure where she is right now. But our couch seems to have a lonely frown. And she's out there somewhere... Wearing business casual...

She Can Get Dudes...

From the comforts of her own living room. Today a locksmith came over to fix our door (about time!!!). He actually came twice. Once when Michelle was home, and then again later when I was home. She must have really made an impression on him. When I was home he was like,
So... you live with Michelle?
And I was like, Yeah.
And he said, Is she single?
Yeah.
REALLY??!? She's a cute girl!
Yeah.
No way! What is she into?
Uh...hmmm... What is she into? Uh.... Like, uh.... I don't really know...
You don't know? But she's you're roommate.
Yeah, but... (How do you tell someone what a super lazy person is "into")... She likes to watch movies (?)

(Boring talk about locks. Blah...Blah...Blah...)
Well, I hope this works out for me. Put in a good word for me with Michelle. I'll take her out on a date if she wants me to.
I'll let her know...

*Text message sent to Michelle*: "The locksmith wants to ask you out. He's asking me what you like to do. He seems like a catch."

Impressive. Most of us at least need to get off the couch to get dudes.

Hmmm...

NOT TOO LAZY TO RIDE THE RUSH COASTER AT LIBERTY LAND!!!

She's In France Right Now...

But don't worry, the only food she's not too lazy to eat is McDonald's. That's the only food she's eaten in France. She's way excited about the Royale.

Sometimes.....

laziness isn't a choice.


We lovely you Lazy-D. Don't worry, elin will type the letters into your keyboard.

M O N S T E R . C...........

She's Been So Sick

I think she actually called in sick to work today instead of just calling in lazy like she usually does. :( Get well soon, Lazy-d.

Sometimes You Find

Motivation. She can bring herself to action when she feels that there is an important cause. Right now she is busy planning my birthday, even from afar.

Yes, She Typically Is Very Lazy...

Except for when it comes to education. Did you know that she loves learning so much that she is attending traffic school on a Saturday morning? She must really want to learn more about the laws surrounding road transit in our state. And you know what I think about it? That's good citizenship. We should all strive for the level of nobility that the lazy-d has evidently reached.

The Lazy Debutante Is

Going to name her children Todd. All of them. Because she really is that lazy.

This Is What She's Doing Today...

She went tanning (again).
She hurried home because she had to hurry over to a little Vietnamese lady's house to have her paste on some long eyelashes.
She has been very slow and lazy to do her laundry. Yes, in many cases this is fine. But we live in a building with 12 apartments and only 2 machines. She's doing a LOT of laundry and she's taken about 2 hours between each switch. Which basically means no one else in our building will be doing laundry today. Good thing everyone in our building is our friend now, otherwise this lazy, vain debutante might have trouble on her hands.
I'm not sure what else she'll be doing today. I'll let you know if there's anything good.

She

Will only use her laptop if I prop it up for her while she's sprawled out on the couch.

Guess What?

The lazy one chopped off all of her lox! And it's super cute. And more importantly, this is good news for everyone because guess why? She won't have to spend 4 hours a day on her hair. And you know what that means? More time to be LAZY!!! We all win!!!

One Time I was in Roosevelt

And I saw a jazzie for sale. It was a used jazzie. Maybe it was even a generic jazzie. What are those other ones called again? Anyway, it was $350 or something like that, and immediately I and my co-travelers wondered how much money was too much money to spend on a joke. And a really, really great joke. Well evidently we decided that $350 was too much. But then I got to thinking... she probably wouldn't actually use that jazzie. What a shame. And what a waste. The honest truth is, I think she might actually be too lazy to use a jazzie.

Hot Dogs

Yesterday I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries with the debutante. It was good to see her but she did slap me across the face with a white glove.

Provo

I moved to Provo, which means the Deb will ne'er see my home. The jazzy's battery life won't go that far.

Does Anyone Else Want to Post on Here?

Danny never does and I feel like people may get sick of me. That is, if anyone reads this blog, which they should.

I recommend posting on here. It's a great way to passive-aggressively complain about the lazy debutante and all her ridiculous demands. And she does have many.

She needs this blog as much as we need her. She needs to be dethroned every now & again. But not in a mean way. In a way that preserves her perfection. Anyway, if anyone wants to write anything ever, let me know.

EMERGENCY!

"Oh no! All hell just broke loose! Someone call Jack Bauer! My roommate didn't bring her phone and if she doesn't answer my calls RIGHT now, hell will get looser!!
For I am a debutante and my calls are meant to be answered IMMEDIATELY!!! Because everything in my life is URGENT!!! And I can't actually tell the difference between real problems!!! and DRAMA!!! Because EVERYTHING is a big deal when you're a DEBUTANTE!!! But none of you would understand. Now, serve me."
Love,
*DebuHoonPants

Confusion.

Things like, going tanning, can confuse a debutante. It can make them want to do things that aren't right for the season. Like eat popsicles and go to the drive-in. Isn't it already confusing enough to be a debutante? Why make it harder on yourself?

She's So Cold

And lazy. Do you think they make a heated jazzy?