She

Will only use her laptop if I prop it up for her while she's sprawled out on the couch.

Guess What?

The lazy one chopped off all of her lox! And it's super cute. And more importantly, this is good news for everyone because guess why? She won't have to spend 4 hours a day on her hair. And you know what that means? More time to be LAZY!!! We all win!!!

One Time I was in Roosevelt

And I saw a jazzie for sale. It was a used jazzie. Maybe it was even a generic jazzie. What are those other ones called again? Anyway, it was $350 or something like that, and immediately I and my co-travelers wondered how much money was too much money to spend on a joke. And a really, really great joke. Well evidently we decided that $350 was too much. But then I got to thinking... she probably wouldn't actually use that jazzie. What a shame. And what a waste. The honest truth is, I think she might actually be too lazy to use a jazzie.