One Time I was in Roosevelt

And I saw a jazzie for sale. It was a used jazzie. Maybe it was even a generic jazzie. What are those other ones called again? Anyway, it was $350 or something like that, and immediately I and my co-travelers wondered how much money was too much money to spend on a joke. And a really, really great joke. Well evidently we decided that $350 was too much. But then I got to thinking... she probably wouldn't actually use that jazzie. What a shame. And what a waste. The honest truth is, I think she might actually be too lazy to use a jazzie.

Hot Dogs

Yesterday I went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries with the debutante. It was good to see her but she did slap me across the face with a white glove.

Provo

I moved to Provo, which means the Deb will ne'er see my home. The jazzy's battery life won't go that far.

Does Anyone Else Want to Post on Here?

Danny never does and I feel like people may get sick of me. That is, if anyone reads this blog, which they should.

I recommend posting on here. It's a great way to passive-aggressively complain about the lazy debutante and all her ridiculous demands. And she does have many.

She needs this blog as much as we need her. She needs to be dethroned every now & again. But not in a mean way. In a way that preserves her perfection. Anyway, if anyone wants to write anything ever, let me know.

EMERGENCY!

"Oh no! All hell just broke loose! Someone call Jack Bauer! My roommate didn't bring her phone and if she doesn't answer my calls RIGHT now, hell will get looser!!
For I am a debutante and my calls are meant to be answered IMMEDIATELY!!! Because everything in my life is URGENT!!! And I can't actually tell the difference between real problems!!! and DRAMA!!! Because EVERYTHING is a big deal when you're a DEBUTANTE!!! But none of you would understand. Now, serve me."
Love,
*DebuHoonPants

Confusion.

Things like, going tanning, can confuse a debutante. It can make them want to do things that aren't right for the season. Like eat popsicles and go to the drive-in. Isn't it already confusing enough to be a debutante? Why make it harder on yourself?

She's So Cold

And lazy. Do you think they make a heated jazzy?